Friday, March 27, 2009

Premier League Jersey 09/10

Although the season hasn't ended yet and Manchester United is still in the lead. I've came acros with a few interesting jerseys for the TOP 4 Football Club in the Premier League.
Warning: The following jerseys are POTENTIAL/ RUMORED jerseys and they may make you puke. Good luck

Arsenal's 09/10 Away Jersey
Meet the all New and More Environmentally friendly Arsenal!
Even Arsenal is going green.

Chelsea 09/10 Home Jersey
Boobies for Drogba!
Very Terminator-ish

Liverpool 09/10 Away Jersey
So far the best among the top 4 new jersey.

Now the one we all have been waiting for,
Manchester United 09/10 Home Jersey

V For VIDIC!
Perhaps the extra V will increase aerodynamic-ness of the team therefore making us faster.

Manchester United 09/10 Away Jersey
Whats with the neck? It will take ages for them to get it right and they will spend their half time tying it. Owh yeah, look at the sponsor, Saudi Telecom.. Wondering if Jersey Sales will drop..

Saturday, March 21, 2009

SEGi College's Awesome English


SEGi College is so successful that it needs an extra E.
Didn't know that a Coke Machine was classified as a Collage by SEGi College.

And I thought Saggy(SEGi) Titties was bad enough.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Tagged By Jo Joan


1. Crazy stuff u did before.
Dreaming of a crazy stuff

2. Most regrettable incident.
Dreaming of the crazy incident

3. If you are given a chance to reverse your life,will you back to the past ?
Yes, to not think of the crazy incident

4. What would u do if u were to die tomorrow ?
Never dream of the crazy stuff

5. Is there someone in your heart right now ?
oooo, so thats why my heart beats are a little awkward..

6. Do you feel loved in this world ?
Love is all around

7. What are you afraid to lose the most ?
My balls

8. What do you feel like doing right now ?
Redoing this whole tag again, its very lame. Please excuse me.

9. If there’s someone that you love, would you confess to him/her ?
A confession will be done to a priest only.

10. List 5 things that u like in a guy/girl.
Face
Body
Hand
Legs
Boobs
(You can't live without any of those)

11. What are the requirements that you not wish from your other half?
A penis

12. What do you think is your purpose in life?
World domination

13. Do you feel like killing someone at the moment?
Yes... [Slash/drop] opps, not anymore.

14. If you had to eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Humans

15. If you had a choice to be rich or happy, which one would you pick
Happy being rich.

16. If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change?
Nothinggggg..

17. What is the most prized possession that you wish you can bring to Heaven?
South Park

18. Name one love song that you have in mind and why?


19. What is the one thing you love about yourself?
My balls

20. Do u think ur Life is meaningful enough ??
Look at the dictionary for the meaning of life.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Official Apple iPhone 3G in Malaysia Rumors


Yes, the iPhone has been out for almost 2 years, and finally it looks like Apple has decided to launch/ release the iPhone in Malaysia or as we hoped.
This news was greatly supported with evidence from an e-mail by my boss mentioning

"Something Exciting..
There is a long anticipated product finally coming to Malaysia and Machines is glad to be one of the chosen partners. Cannot share with you what it is for now, but I am sure many of you can guess already. So stay optimistic!"

Jakun jakun feeling all over, not because that I haven't see the iPhone before, trust me I'm literally bored with it already. Even the name iPhone is killing me with each customer that comes in saying at the iPod Touch that it is an iPhone (some even argued with me that its an iPhone, like i don't know any better).

If the iPhone is launched in Malaysia officially, there would be better benefits than buying it from neighboring countries or e-bay.
  1. Cheaper
  2. Cheaper again if you're a Maxis user. (Rumors that Maxis is the official mobile carrier)
  3. Sales for Machines! ($$$ for me!)
  4. iTunes Store for Malaysia (But it'll be an utter failure because who "buys" songs in Malaysia)
  5. Prevents exporting money to the country you're buying from (Although large profits goes to Apple inc. an American company)
  6. Prevents those Cina ah beng Hand Phone seller from cheating people's money by selling an iPhone 3G Rm 3,000, where actual price is Rm 2,500/Rm 2,400 depending on currency)
Ps. there are some other evidence that iPhone is launching tomorrow,
and when I say launch it means LAUNCH and not SELLING.

Ivan Needs a Phone/ a car/ a TV .... MONEY!

Sunday, March 01, 2009

Asia Cafe Workers

Mind through an Asia Cafe worker.

1. When a drink is out of stock, what is the first action to do?
A. Not delaying and immediately report to the customer that it is out of stock.
B. Recommend another drink to the customer.
C. Delaying the status and offer you to buy some tissues.

Hmm... This is a tough one.

Suicide!

Monday, February 23, 2009

TIMMY (SOUTH PARK) VS. DANNY BOYLE (SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE)

I don't know about you guys, but when I was watching the oscars earlier this morning, Danny Boyle kept appearing on the screen. And then it hits me, he looks like TIMMY from South Park.

DANNAAAAY!

TIMMAAAY!

I Love Saggy Titties

Way way back then, I've made a post about Saggy Titties parody of SEGi College Facilities/ Facitities form.

Everyweek, when I check my nuffnang account, saggy titties was always one of my top hits on analytic.

Apparently, till today that was one of my most read post ever!
ivankang.blogspot.com = saggy titties?

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Friday, February 20, 2009

Rihanna's Beaten Up Photo

Before

Chris Brown's gonna "hit you hit you hit you hit you hit you.... girl, hit you hit you hit you hit you hit you!"

After


DAAAMMMMNNN!.. Picture is Disturbiaa!!!!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Newsflash on the 13 Year Old that had SEX with the 15 year old girl that eventually had a babaaaaay....!

Newsflash, apparently the 15 year old girl that slept with the 13 year old boy claims that she had slept with 8 guys so far. Good news to the world as you hear it cause it could be any of the little girl's friends that could be the father. Come to think about it, when I was 13 years old, I always plan on sleep over at guy friends place and play computer games or playstation 2 till i fall asleep on my friends bed, which when you think now is really really giving me the creeps. HOMO!

Picture courtesy of The Sun(UK)

Unfortunately for the little 13 year old boy, not only does he have to deal with the fact that his girlfriend is pregnant but also you have to pity him that his 15 year old girlfriend cheated on him 7 (SEVEN) times, each with diffrent guys!!!!! Geeeeeez, thats suckkks..

Sunday, February 15, 2009

13 Year Old Dad?

Weird things have become weirder this coming few days as a women gave birth to Octuplets and a 13 year old boy and a 15 year old girl became parents.
Picture Courtesy Of The Sun (UK)

It's weird because not only does the boy looks like his only 9 and haven't reached puberty but yet he still needs his dad to buy underwear or ground him or tells him to finish his homework before going to bed. According to The Sun, after the interview, the innocent eyed boy went to his PlayStation.
What have the world turned into?

HAPPY KILLING CUPID VALENTINES DAY!


Its 2 hours pass Valentines Day. How was your Valentines Day? Did the Cupid manage to find you?

Thursday, February 12, 2009

WideScreen

Okay, my blog is under renovation now. The layouts are slightly off, because of the recent change to the widescreen format (1280x800). Anyway, random question who still uses 800x600 or 1024x768 resolution to view internet pages?

My MacBook Logo Color Poll


I'm using a MacBook White and I feel like changing my Apple logo color. This are a few rendered/photoshopped colors of someone's Apple MacBook logo.
Please vote at the Nuffnang Advertorial located at the sidebar.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Famous Lookalikes


Something really random I just remembered while watching football, Edward TanganGunting, and a Fall Out Boy video. This is what I came out with.

Exhibit 1

Dimitar Berbatov

Andy Garcia (Oceans 11, 13)

Exhibit 2

Patrick Stump ( Fall Out Boy )

Fat Bastard (Austin Powers)

Exhibit 3

Joseph Fritzel

Vincent Price (Edward Scissorhand)

Thats all i can think so far.... Lots of things to do!!!!!


Ngo Hou Fa Shang

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Definition of UGLY.

New Formula 1 Cars with the 2009 specifications.
All new cars are fitted with KERS(Kinetic Energy Recovery Systems) Technology and racing slicks. If you ask me, all these cars looks like there were developed in the 1980's.
Anyway, pictures means a thousand words.




Thursday, January 15, 2009

Microsoft Windows 7


I'm a Mac User. Its been almost a full year since I've been exposed to the Mac World.
Everything runs perfectly, never had an antivirus for a YEAR! How often do you say that?
Well this time, I decided to pay a visit back to Redmond and see their latest development on their Microsoft Windows 7.


I've download Windows 7 directly from their Official Website as a beta unit.
All and all, as a beta OS, it is pretty stable, I think very much more stable than the current flop Vista.


Whats amazing with 7 is that it only takes 16 minutes on my MacBook 2.0Ghz and 3GB ram to install completely. Talk about installing Windows Xp or Vista again.
Besides that, you'll be greeted with an entirely new taskbar or what Microsoft calls it as SuperBar. Personally, I feel that if your graphic card doesn't supports Aero graphics, it will still be similar. So the verdict is still the same Microsoft builds an advance OS with powerful GUI but, you still need to upgrade your computer specs, unfortunately.


Leopard & 7 side by side. Vmware Fusion 2

Currently, I'm running my Windows 7 under VMware Fusion 2 and its pretty stable besides the slightly slow startup.(Caused by dual operating system boot, iTunes, Adium, Mozilla Firefox & occasional Adobe PhotoShop CS4). If you are smart. Boot it up stand alone and you'll definately notice the difference from Vista.

My verdict on 7,
1. It will be a revival point for Microsoft after their epic failure Vista.
2. Many Vista user will be glad that they will be able to upgrade to a better operating system and XP users don't have to downgrade to vista but upgrade to 7.
3. Although this is a BETA version, I feel its pretty solid, so far so good no problems, although there was an issue about a missing network adapter at first. But After a few tweaks with the VM and OS, the issue is gone!.
4. Unfortunately, I'm gonna stick with my Mac OS X 10.5.6 still, I just can't seem to go back to the point of updating your virus definition or scanning your hard disk for virus or even having the fear of inserting a thumbdrive/ opening attachment from friends anymore.
Besides that, although my MacBook has a very low power graphic card of only 64Mb, it seems to run the Leopard Interface perfectly. No problems with expose/spaces/or magnification of dock. Lovely.
5. Apple would love to challenge Microsoft with their new Operating System, MacOSX 10.6 "Snow Leopard".
Rumors showed that apple will be ditching their slightly dated Aqua interface for a more modern/sophisticated GUI codename "Marble".(Think of iPhoto/ new iTunes/ new iWork 09)

iTunes New Grid look


Pages 09' New Look

Guess that won't be a bad direction and it isn't all under the hood modification only for Snow Leopard eh? Thank Goodness!
Anyway, Snow Leopard is still in Beta and can be downloaded from any Torrent site easily but any damage or loss isn't my responsibility. So I suggest wait and be amazed by the speed and elegance + sophistication of Snow Leopard.